TRAPPED IN SWEATPANTS: Erase these two words from your vocabulary.....

Medical Lake's Next Top Model: Only models five feet and under need apply!

This post is dedicated to those guys and gals in the fashion "scene" who keep Spokane looking good. It was so much fun to experience an actual photo shoot. If you're a mom, you should get to experience this at least once in your life. But I will WARN YOU: This is harder then it looks. I hate to say it, but....I always thought models just stood there and looked pretty. WRONG. I really thought just anyone could do it. WRONG. I also thought I was in pretty good shape. WRONG. There are muscles that are still sore I didn't even know existed anymore! I still can hardly move from this photo below. AND it was freezing! (I'm wearing two pairs of nylons underneath the knee highs) I think I seriously pulled a muscle and may need a hip replacement. I gave up my chocolate chip cookies for 7 days in preparation. MMMM cookies!

Photo by: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Thomas-Richardson-Images/116021311793439

By Joy Mizzoni
Team Support Specialist at ActionCOACH Spokane

I have strong feelings about the fashion industry, society's standard of beauty and the ceaseless self-deprecation women endure to attain that never attainable pie in the sky called perfection.

Few people know that I am a classically trained ballet dancer. I studied in Saratoga Springs with Madame Phyllis Latin (http://www.americandancecentersaratoga.com). Although these years spent with Madame deserve much more then a brief cameo, I'll save that novella for another day. Point being, I understand perfection. I understand hiding extreme physical pain behind the illusion of graceful fingertips and elongated necks.

I don't care who you are, what you do, or how strong you profess to be both mentally and physically. I DARE you to spend a week with Phylis Latin. Go ahead. I DOUBLE DARE YOU.

They say youth is wasted on the young. How quickly we forget our inner strength and outer beauty. Motherhood, marriage, and mortgages alone are enough to make most women forget the dazzling joys of celebrating our beauty. We are so quick to replace glitter and sparkles with the muted colors of the professional world. When once we admired and emulated the seductive power of beauty, we now judge, disparage and condemn.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing fingers...what happens when you point a finger at someone else? That's right boys and girls...there are those silly three fingers pointing right back at moi'.

Every woman wants to feel beautiful and I suspect most women really do, indeed, care that others think they are beautiful as well; but we limit ourselves. We become too sensible. Suddenly there is an "us" and a "them". We become too short, too old, too chubby, too this and too that. "Someday" and "When I..." have become our mantras.

But what about now?  It's not like you're suddenly going to wake up looking like Giselle. I hate to tell you, tomorrow, and the next day, and, the day after that...you are going to wake up with the same gray hairs, stretch marks, wrinkles, and c-section scars. You're going to look in the same mirror and see the same face.

So what are you going to do with it? Do you intend to keep ignoring  your very own daydreams and fanciful wishes?

There are TWO WORDS that you MUST erase from your vocabulary. Ready? Here it is...

"YEAH BUT..."

Want to kill you dreams?

Want to pass up opportunity after opportunity to have a little fun in your life?

"YEAH BUT" WILL DO IT EVERY TIME!

"Don’t stew…do" Some words of wisdom for the overwhelmed and under confident...

By Joy Mizzoni

Every time I start questioning my present situation, something happens to remind me that I am right where I need to be…for example….

My boss called me a writer today.  He probably thinks that I didn’t notice; but I did. 

No one has told me to stop writing blogs at work.  Yet, I have diabolically dodged all the blog ideas floating around my cranial cavity today by telling myself it’s not “really” work related. I keep waiting for the inevitable reprimand. It hasn’t come yet.

This blog has almost 1,000 views.  It’s been live barely a month.  

I just realized the only person telling me that I shouldn’t be writing at work is me. The only demoralizing demon lurching in every shadow is just fear. You know, false expectations appearing real.  

Above the line behavior   is synonymous with victorious behavior.  It is the realm of choices and control.  Below the line behavior  is cutting your nose off to spite your face. It is martyrdom in the most nonsensical sense. 

Unfortunately, sometimes we wear our victimization like our favorite fleece pajamas; warmth emanating from our comforting sense of familiarity.  

My life has been difficult. Not just inconvenient.  I mean Lifetime Movie Channel difficult. I carry a lot of blame towards others for my lack of opportunities. 

But that was then.  A long long time ago, far far away. 

I can handle this. I have been handling it.  If I don’t handle it, then I am to blame. 

If I stop writing blogs, it is because I talked myself out of it. If I am unsuccessful in art, then it’s because I was too afraid to take risks. There is no chorus of the disgruntled undermining my talents, dreams, and passions. 

It’s just me.  It’s just worry.

So, I share this with you, the advice my mentor Coach Jim Munro so generously gave me after listening to me ramble off about 100 different things I wasn’t sure I could handle:

• Make a list of everything that MUST get done today
• IGNORE ALL THE ‘WHAT IFS’
• Then start doing RIGHT NOW what MUST get done

And I swear to you, he ended his pep-talk with “don’t stew, do!”  How he makes this stuff up on the spot, I’ll never know….

 

What I learned from the Cat Test...

As I drove to work this morning, hair dripping wet, reminding myself to put deodorant on at the next stop light I come to, I thought about the Cat Test. 

Last summer, I thought it might be a good idea to adopt a dog.  I visited a local animal shelter and met this giant, brutish pit-bull who seemed to possess the heart of a kitten.  He smiled, drooled, wagged his stub.

When I took him to the play yard he came when I called him. He sat. He won me over. 

I already have a cat named Toad with giant green eyes and a penchant for using inappropriate household items as scratching posts. But he consistently redeems himself by doing literal somersaults.  I’m talking head over tail. You Tube, here we come! 

Needless to say, I would never want to bring home another pet that may try and ingest Toad. Or at the least, do him significant kitty bodily harm. 

Thus, this potential new addition to my home in the form of a jovial, giant bundle of dog had to pass the Cat Test before I could finalize the paperwork. 

So the smiling pit bull and I enter an empty room.  A woman then enters carrying an orange, long-haired cat that resembles a child’s toy thrown in the washer machine one time too many.

The premise of this experiment is to introduce a cat into the room with the dog. If the dog doesn’t try and eat the cat, he passes the Cat Test.

And you thought YOUR JOB SUCKED? 

Life is hard for everyone folks. You, me, the idiot going 55 mph in the fast lane, and yes, this scraggly, slightly senile cat who possibly has been through so many Cat Tests in its poor life it’s ready for a kitty-sized straight jacket. 

The woman explains to me that they use an older cat because they are more patient. 

Um, excuse me, what? 

This woman was an amazing spin doctor! Patient? Patient? Did she just use the word “Patient”?  

Let me translate… they use a cat too old to give a ##$@ anymore.   Talk about apathy on the job!  Let’s ponder for a moment and reminisce about the last time you felt so overworked or unappreciated at your place of employment?    

Life is not fair. Not even for an old cat that has paid his dues tenfold during his nine lives.  Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure was down to the last one or two, from the looks of things. 

This story could be a metaphor for a lot of things, like investing in your retirement, planning for your future, taking steps to ensure you aren’t used as a test cat in your golden years. But the moral of this story is really about how we are all in the same boat.  

We all are trying to get to work, an appointment, a meeting, a school function, the grocery store, etcetera, etcetera, and etcetera.  We all have to deal with grumpy bosses, passive aggressive co-workers and pompous pontification from those who must demonstrate their superiority.  

We all get flat tires, flabby thighs, and the occasional bout of flatulence. 

 

When we are able to see the big picture a little clearer, I know for me, it makes me feel less overwhelmed.  I see the daily trials and tribulations not so detrimental. I feel like I am able to put things into perspective and understand that obstacles to success are not concrete barriers.  They are just the potholes, panhandlers, and perturbances of everyday life.  But in reality, we’re all in this together.  

Try to remember this the next time someone cuts you off in traffic or someone snipes at you; chances are they didn’t feel like getting up and going to work anymore than you did.  They showed up because they had to…just like you…just like me.  

Like I said, life’s a bitch.  

So did the pit-bull pass the Cat Test? 

No.

He did not. 

The woman placed the orange, mangy, kitty on the floor and it nonchalantly walked past the dog. The dog sniffed, wagged said stump; drooled proudly and walked over to me, as if to say, “Look, I passed! I passed! I did it! Bring me home now!” 

I knelt down and complemented him on what a good boy he was, scratched behind his ears, and began making a mental list of neat doggy toys to buy him on the way home. 

And then it happened. 

The cat walked past the dog and he opened his mouth and took a HUGE BITE at the air inches away from the cat. No, he didn’t bite the cat this time.

It was obvious, though, that given enough time alone with a feline, this dog would inevitably give into kitty devouring temptation. 

So in the end, I did not adopt the darling, drooling, stump-wagging, charming canine, but I did learn a valuable lesson from this Cat Test…

It’s called work for a reason.

Be, do, have….the formula for success…

BE-DO-HAVE: Coach Ted Schmidt shares with a list of how YOU can BE SUCCESSFUL.....

By Joy Mizzoni

Team Support Specialist

ActionCOACH Spokane

Artwork courtesy of http://dribbble.com/shots/524461-Inspire

I am two people. The old Joy and the new Joy.  

When I feel like procrastinating, giving up, or I start feeling impulsive, I ask myself, “What would the “New Joy” do? 

For example, this morning I had an appointment at 7:30 am.  I was up at 6 am and showered. I was back in bed; sound asleep by 6:20 am.  When my alarm went off at 7:00 am I immediately decided to blow this appointment off and go back to sleep.  

Seconds later I asked myself, what would the “new Joy” do? 

Well, the “new Joy” got up, got dressed and made it in record time to her appointment.  The “old Joy” was less than happy.  

Why am I telling you this? 

Because there is this simple principle called BE, DO, HAVE.

In order to get the results you want to HAVE, you must DO the things that are necessary for success, and these things are usually preceded by the correct thinking or BE-ing.

Stop for a moment and think about someone you admire and who has achieved a level of success you someday wish to obtain.

What sorts of things does that person DO?  

• Does that person blow off commitments deemed as inconvenient?  
• Does that person make excuses for failure and blame other people for their misfortune?
• Does that person have a negative attitude?

Let me ask you something. Have you ever worked with someone who seemed to get away with murder in the workplace? They have a miserable attitude, they sabotage their co-workers, and they are not fully involved or committed to success of the organization.  Has it ever appeared that this person puts in little effort but suffers no consequence?  Their financial situation seems abundant and their clientele satisfied; yet all their mannerisms, habits, communication style contradicts their apparent success? 

I guarantee you that the cracks will start to show.  Clients will become unhappy and financial repercussions will ensue. 

We all want short-cuts. We all want to work less and make more money. We live in a society that expects instant gratification. 

I asked Certified Business Coach Ted Schmidt what highly-successful people actually DO.   

Who do I have to BE? 

“Highly successful people make others around them better. They bring people up with them; they don’t hold them down,” explains Coach Ted. 

He offers the following insights when trying to apply the BE-DO-HAVE principle to your own life.

What do successful people DO?

·         Write down goals

·         Use their time productively

·         Delegate

·         Stay focused on their goals

·         Prepare

·         Work hard

·         Always do their best

·         Project confidence

·         Follow through on commitments

·         Communicate effectively

·         Show up on time

“Successful people are confident and comfortable in their own skin and have gained confidence by learning from their mistakes and not repeating them,” says Coach Ted.  “If you want to be perceived as professional, you need to start BEING a professional in the way you act, dress, and speak.”

Coach Ted sums up the BE-DO-HAVE principle: “If you want to be successful surround yourself with successful people!” 

Special thanks to Coach Ted Schmidt for sharing his valuable insights with me for this posting. Be sure to read Coach Ted's blog and visit him on Facebook.

Facebook - Coach Ted Schmidt

Coach Ted Schmidt's - BLOG

N.I.C.E….Nothing Inside Me Cares Enough To Say Anything….

In an effort to effectively prioritize and produce results, I promised myself that I could work on a blog post only after I had finished some other, less exciting projects. Specifically, I committed to finishing this lengthy PowerPoint presentation today (not due until next week) and the reward for not procrastinating would be, well, this blog post. 

Long story short, I stopped working on the presentation dead in my tracks to write this blog post for you.

But, the redeeming moral of the story, is that, well, this blog post happens to be about the presentation that is sitting half done on my desk this very moment. 

For those of you who read my very first posting (click here…hint hint) the purpose of this bog is to share practical information for improving your life.  I say “life” because although I support “business” coaches — not “life” coaches — business is your life...whether you own a business, dream of starting your own business, or just want to be employee of the month.  And for those of you lucky enough to have a trust fund just spewing money into your bank account, then these tips will help you with your life. 

Most of us want to become better people. Most of us want to make smarter decisions. Most of us want to hear HOW to do this. 

 

See, that’s the thing with most self-help books and good old standbys like Stephen Covey. I have read 7 Habits twice AND listened to the audio CD. Guess what? Win-win my ass.  Sure, theoretically it’s brilliant and it definitely is the bible of popular jargon such as ‘synergy’ and ‘sharpen your saw’ but it never seemed applicable to the mundane, day-to-day experiences that trip us up. 

Remember, it’s the little things that make the difference. It’s the little things you think no one will notice that make or break your goals.

 

I learned a valuable lesson in the military. Yes, your humble writer spent four long, tedious, tumultuous years in the Air Force. Yes, I was a member of PETA and a vegetarian during that time too. Yes, I had a problem with authority. And YES I was honorably discharged.  

In the military, you aren’t allowed to wear dangle earrings and there is a laundry list of other dress-related regulations that seem inconsequential especially when you wake up late. But I swear to you, EVERY TIME I said to myself, ‘ah no one will notice’ someone did; and let me tell you, I mean EVERY TIME! 

Point being, the information I am sharing with you may seem little, trite, trivial, inconsequential. But TRUST ME, it’s the little things that matter. 

 

Which brings me to the concept of not being nice. According to this awesome presentation I am working on for Coach Ted Schmidt, the ActionCOACH Spokane definition of nice is as follows:

N.I.C.E....

• Nothing

• Inside Me

• Cares

• Enough

Think about that. Think about all the times you never spoke up in situations because you didn’t want to offend someone. What where the consequences? How could things have turned out differently if you had held that person accountable for their actions?  

This concept isn’t just about your own fear of the other person’s anger. It’s about the other person too.   It’s about caring enough about the other person to give them the input or information they need to be successful – or to avoid further or future pain.  We don’t typically stand by silently as we watch people we care about sabotage their efforts, or do we?  

It’s just something to think about. 

 

Now, for those of you who read my last blog post (click here..hint hint) about how I recently blurted out something inappropriate to a client (in front of my boss) I am not saying this is an opportunity to start telling people what you really think of them. I’m just suggesting that the concept of N.I.C.E. may be something we should all explore a little further and see if, in fact, because we are too nice, we ourselves are not being accountable. 

I’ll be honest, I am not quite sure how to apply this concept yet since it is fairly new to me. 

But perhaps together we can figure out how we can start caring enough about ourselves and our goals to stop being so N.I.C.E. all the damn time. 

 

 

 

Pause, breathe, think…all with your mouth closed.

I am not one who typically thinks before she speaks. I tend to be a little nervous, slightly shy, yet high strung.  This is a formula for nervously rattling away via impulse to fill awkward silences as opposed to wooing my colleagues and acquaintances with well-articulated thoughtful responses.  I would like to blame these mannerisms on my culture and upbringing. I would like to attribute it to my artistic colorful personality; I am, after all, uniquely me and that hasn’t always been a bad thing. 

I know I talk fast. I get going and I forget to breathe. And then I start talking with my hands.  My arms will never remain completely still during a conversation and I’m not even about to try.  But I am open to learning how to lower my voice, take a deep breath and pause before I say whatever highly inappropriate thing just popped into my rambling, rambunctious brain. 

As they say, there is a time and place for everything and typically, mixed company does not fall into either of those categories. 

For example, last week a gentleman arrived at our office for his weekly career counseling appointment with one of our business coaches. He had spent many years as a corrections officer in a prison and was now searching for his true passion which involved elements of both creative and salutary purpose. While he was waiting to meet with his coach, our conversation went something like this…..

He expressed the satisfaction he receives from helping others. This was one aspect of the prison system he found very rewarding; when an inmate turned their life around. Then he made the comment, “everyone deserves a second chance.”

Now, normally, this is where most people would pause and say something polite reinforcing this sentiment, especially in a professional environment like ActionCOACH Spokane. 

Do you know what comes out of my mouth?

“Yeah, except for sex offenders.”

Hoping to stop the conversation in its tracks I apologized profusely, but it was too late. 

Oh, did I mention that my boss was standing right there this entire time? 

As Coach Jim effortlessly guided the conversation to less-futile territory, I knew there was a lesson to be learned from this; not one completely unfamiliar to me either. 

Pause before you speak. 

As you may have guessed, Friday, in my weekly coaching session “Coach”  kindly provided me with some helpful tips to improve my communication style. 

This was the communication strategy he outlined for yours truly:

Before you open your mouth:

1. Breathe.

2. Pause (count to three silently)

3. Think about the impact of what you said (or did) 72 hours down the road. Do you like it?

   

    

Not bad advice eh?  

Common sense you may say? 

Really?

When’s the last time you said something really stupid in front of YOUR boss?

I thought so.The common theme in my blogs is simplicity doesn’t equate to easy.  Common sense also doesn’t equal “easy”. 

Isn’t it common sense to put down the cupcakes and get to the gym? 

I thought so. 

So before you pick up that cupcake or say something horribly inappropriate to a client, remember it’s as simple as one, two, three. 

Breathe, pause and remember the 72-hour rule; and don’t forget….this philosophy also applies to cupcakes.