Pause, breathe, think…all with your mouth closed.

I am not one who typically thinks before she speaks. I tend to be a little nervous, slightly shy, yet high strung.  This is a formula for nervously rattling away via impulse to fill awkward silences as opposed to wooing my colleagues and acquaintances with well-articulated thoughtful responses.  I would like to blame these mannerisms on my culture and upbringing. I would like to attribute it to my artistic colorful personality; I am, after all, uniquely me and that hasn’t always been a bad thing. 

I know I talk fast. I get going and I forget to breathe. And then I start talking with my hands.  My arms will never remain completely still during a conversation and I’m not even about to try.  But I am open to learning how to lower my voice, take a deep breath and pause before I say whatever highly inappropriate thing just popped into my rambling, rambunctious brain. 

As they say, there is a time and place for everything and typically, mixed company does not fall into either of those categories. 

For example, last week a gentleman arrived at our office for his weekly career counseling appointment with one of our business coaches. He had spent many years as a corrections officer in a prison and was now searching for his true passion which involved elements of both creative and salutary purpose. While he was waiting to meet with his coach, our conversation went something like this…..

He expressed the satisfaction he receives from helping others. This was one aspect of the prison system he found very rewarding; when an inmate turned their life around. Then he made the comment, “everyone deserves a second chance.”

Now, normally, this is where most people would pause and say something polite reinforcing this sentiment, especially in a professional environment like ActionCOACH Spokane. 

Do you know what comes out of my mouth?

“Yeah, except for sex offenders.”

Hoping to stop the conversation in its tracks I apologized profusely, but it was too late. 

Oh, did I mention that my boss was standing right there this entire time? 

As Coach Jim effortlessly guided the conversation to less-futile territory, I knew there was a lesson to be learned from this; not one completely unfamiliar to me either. 

Pause before you speak. 

As you may have guessed, Friday, in my weekly coaching session “Coach”  kindly provided me with some helpful tips to improve my communication style. 

This was the communication strategy he outlined for yours truly:

Before you open your mouth:

1. Breathe.

2. Pause (count to three silently)

3. Think about the impact of what you said (or did) 72 hours down the road. Do you like it?

   

    

Not bad advice eh?  

Common sense you may say? 

Really?

When’s the last time you said something really stupid in front of YOUR boss?

I thought so.The common theme in my blogs is simplicity doesn’t equate to easy.  Common sense also doesn’t equal “easy”. 

Isn’t it common sense to put down the cupcakes and get to the gym? 

I thought so. 

So before you pick up that cupcake or say something horribly inappropriate to a client, remember it’s as simple as one, two, three. 

Breathe, pause and remember the 72-hour rule; and don’t forget….this philosophy also applies to cupcakes.