False Expectations Appearing Real: Conquering Fear

By Joy Mizzoni
Team Support Specialist 

ActionCOACH Spokane

If you told me I have two choices: One that will probably end catastrophically in disaster with only a 1% chance of success and the other will most certainly lead to success (but is significantly less risky and exciting) there is a 99.9% chance I will always choose the least-logical option. 

If I bet on horses, I'd pick the long-shot every time.

Why?

If the odds are against you, and you win, you WIN BIG. 

If you fail…then wasn’t that really your expectation in the first place?

It’s a win-win. Even if you lose. 

Except, , this is really called is self-sabotage fueled by fear of the unknown. 

It’s not really fear or success; it’s fear of trying to be successful and failing. 

It’s like walking through the same dark, creature-infested forest searching in circles for a way out; but you know every inch of the forest. You know which shadows are tree branches and which are hungry carnivores. 

It’s familiar. 

But that clearing for which you say you are searching...that is unfamiliar territory!

Sure the sun shines brightly and fragrant flowers abundantly bloom....but...what if.... the sun is too bright...what if... it’s so bright you go blind....what if.. you have an anaphylactic reaction to a bee...what if... something unforeseen is hiding  that is ten times more dangerous than any creature in your familiar forest? 

So you keep walking. In circles. You say you’re searching for a way out, but really, you’re just making excuses. Excuses to stay where you’re comfortable because you’re scared of the unknown. 

So what do you do? 

I don’t know. I have recently just glimpsed the clearing through the trees. I have only considered venturing out into the unknown. But I’m not ready yet. 

Not entirely.

I am just beginning to realize that when opportunities are pounding at my door, I pretend I don’t notice.  I cower like an agoraphobic. And you know what the worst part of it all is? It’s a choice. 

Acquiescing to fear is a choice. That can be a hard pill to swallow because then who is to blame? There is a lot of people we think are to blame, but unfortunately, the only person bearing accountability is ourselves. 

Really think about where you want to go in life. Think about your passions. Think about your talents. Recognize that droning, driveling voice that screams a litany of reasons for self-doubt every time you think about your goals. 

Then take a moment and remind yourself that fear is only false expectations appearing real. 

 

Below are some links to other articles/sites dealing with the concept of fear:

http://www.actioncoach.com/Conquering-Fear?pressid=1191

http://www.webcareergirl.com/fear-false-evidence-appearing-real.html