Remember that darling retro poster of the sweet little
kitten dangling by his claws off what appears to be a tree branch some 30 feet
in the air with the words “hang in there baby” written across it?
Well, I am going to introduce you to the concept of “above
or below the line” or, if you’d like, kitten hanging on to tree branch or
kitten letting go and going thump.
This concept is similar to “high road” and
“low road”; above the line behaviors (like taking the high road) include
accountability, responsibility and ownership. Below the line behaviors (like
that bumpy, windy, twisty low-road we often find ourselves joy-riding along)
are behaviors like blame, excuses, and denial. Also included below the line are
all time favorites like throwing your co-worker under the bus to save your own
ass and the famous “it’s not my fault.”
So where are you? Are you hanging on for dear life?
Above The Line Thinking:
This means you are thinking about results, solutions,
contributions. This is about you. Not the other person. Yes, we know that there
are people who make you mad. Yes, we know life is unfair. Trust me; if anyone
is the epitome of the “It’s Just Not Fair Diva” it’s yours truly. This famous philosophy
was only recently introduced to me through ActionCOACH Spokane and some days, I’ll
admit, I can barely reach the line let alone stay above it. But the rewarding feeling of empowerment and
control is well worth it when you achieve this mindset in a challenging
situation.
When you are above the line, you are thinking as a victor,
your actions are motivated by logical thoughts such as:
- Could I have handled that situation a better way?
- What can I do better next time?
- How did my actions or communication style contribute to this situation?
- What action can I take to improve the situation?
- How can I be a positive contributor?
Did you notice I did not use the phrase “if only they...”
No. NO NO NO! Bad Blog Reader!
Who is the only person you can control? That’s
right. You can’t make that other person stop doing stupid things. But you can stop yourself from doing stupid
things. Or at least from doing them repeatedly.
Now let’s cross over to the dark side for a moment…..
Below The Line Thinking:
This is where we wallow in our own misery and fantasize
about ways you can make the other person’s life miserable without getting
arrested.
This is where you blame the economy, your boss, your
parents, your spouse, your dog. This is where you say things like “If Ben &
Jerry’s didn’t make their ice cream so delicious, I wouldn’t be this size.”
This is where people walk off with an easy million because McDonalds made the
coffee too hot and you burnt yourself.
Need I say more?
This is where you relinquish all control. Below the line you
meander through your day like a mindless puppet. Here in the depths of blame
and excuses grows self-sabotage and lost opportunities.
It’s in these leech infested swamps that you will never
reach your full potential. Why? Because when you live below the line, nothing ever changes.
And if nothing changes, well, nothing changes.
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